Give Me Fifty Reasons
by Capella A. Morningside
Summary: A series of fics and ficlets for the 50gravi LJ community. TohmaSakano.
1. Imperfection

**Title**: Imperfection  
**Author**: Capella Morningside  
**Theme**: #48 - Lamp  
**Pairing**: Tohma Seguchi/Sakano  
**Genre**: General, Slight Fluff  
**Rating**: PG  
**Words**: 712  
**Warnings**: None.  
**Disclaimer**: Don't own it, don't make money from it.  
**Summary**: The lamp has never really worked right, but he keeps it around anyway. Lots of hinting.

* * *

It didn't work right. It never had, but for all the time it had malfunctioned it always sat on the corner of his desk, ready to lend a soft, golden glow when the sun went down rather than the harsh overhead, even if it required a bit of a struggle first.

The man at the booth had made it sound like it was the world's greatest discovery-- "The Incredible Switch-less Lamp", he called it. People had crowded around the flashy booth, and Tohma hadn't been interested at all in the first place. Unfortunately, that was a day out of many he'd spent goofing off with Ryuichi, and the singer wouldn't stop bouncing up and down until he was allowed to at least go and look. It was indeed a convenient-looking innovation; a lamp that only required your touch to almost anywhere on its surface to turn it on or off. Some of the models even had three different light intensities it would cycle through with each touch. The blonde was more than ready to walk away after a demonstration, and he did, stepping a few meters back to wait for his companion. It had only been a few minutes before Sakuma came running out of the crowd with a box under each arm.

Needless to say he'd been obligated to accept it. Now that it was bought and paid for, and now that it was now considered a gift and it wasn't at all in his capability to be rude to Ryuichi. Tohma had spent the rest of their time at the market contemplating what to do with it, and eventually his friend answered the question for him with a cheerful suggestion of, "That would look great in your office, no da?"

Ryuichi had been right, it did look good in the office. It was stylish and sleek, modern with a flawless smooth surface, and complimented the other furniture nicely. For about three months Tohma Seguchi and his touch-activated lamp lived in perfect harmony. Then came the day that he finally used it.

He didn't know what had gone wrong. Maybe it had been the long streak of sitting there untouched, but when a very late night came to him and he found himself in his office hours longer than expected, he reached across the desk and gave the sleek metal the most delicate touch imaginable. The lamp fired to life with an explosion of reactions, cycling through all three light intensities, turning off, then cycling again before stopping on the highest one, nearly blinding the company president. He tried again, a little more hesitantly this time, and it repeated the process, this time stopping on the lowest setting.

Tohma was tempted to throw the lamp away, but with Ryuichi coming and going so often around that time he would be sure to notice its absence, and there was nothing the blonde liked about the idea of hurting his dear friend's feelings. So he learned to struggle with it, learned where and how to touch it to make it give a calmer response, and though it was still dysfunctional, he forced himself to co-exist with it. And due to its stylish look and the fact that the second setting was absolutely perfect for late-night working, it was rewarding.

One day, it was none other than Sakano that brought it up: "Sh-shachou, are you aware that... um... that lamp is broken?"

Tohma looked up from his work. "Hm? My lamp?" Aquamarine eyes looking from the nearly cringing producer to the object in question, sitting just inches away. "It's not broken, Sakano-san. It's just a little difficult to work sometimes."

"Perhaps... perhaps you should replace it, with one that works alright?" The dark-haired man's eyes fell to the floor, the usual submissive routine. "I mean, if that's okay with you, Seguchi-san?"

"No. That lamp is very dear to me." He smiled. "It may not be perfect, but I would never replace it." Wordlessly, Tohma brought the conversation to a close by simply returning to his work.

Narrowing his eyes in confusion, Sakano stared at the lamp for a few seconds-- then quietly made an exit with a shy smile on his face.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I recently joined a little community on LiveJournal called 50gravi, and have daringly claimed the pairing of Tohma/Sakano. Since it seems the entire thing will be done as a series (even though I do not intend to do the themes in order) I decided, why not post it here too, just for kicks and to see what others not in the community think? With that, hope you enjoyed. Capella Morningside, signing out. 


	2. Anxiety Band

**Title**: Anxiety Band  
**Author**: Capella Morningside  
**Theme**: #39 - Hair Tie  
**Pairing**: Tohma Seguchi/Sakano  
**Genre**: Fluff  
**Rating**: G  
**Words**: 960  
**Warnings**: None.  
**Disclaimer**: Don't own it, don't make money from it. I don't own the mascot mentioned either.  
**Summary**: Sometimes, Sakano has odd ways of coping with stress.

* * *

It wasn't his fault. Really. Anyone could easily get distracted in the same situation. This was how he assured himself.

It had started off simply. Bad Luck had been surprisingly efficient for the day and a set of tasks that normally would have taken ten hours only took six. K, most likely against better judgment, had given them the rest of the day off. Shuichi had, as expected, ran home immediately to give Yuki Eiri an extra four hours of torture in his day, and the other two had lingered about, practicing individually until they got bored of it and left.

Sakano was like a puppy sometimes. He was in constant need of attention and the assurance that he was needed and appreciated in order to keep him happy. He'd lap up any praise he could get from anyone. And additionally, with no guidance and no orders, he was completely lost. The man had come upstairs to tell Seguchi the events that had just transpired, and bashfully asked if he was allowed to go home as well. And though he'd been told that he could, an hour and a half later he remained, busying himself with miniscule and sometimes inane tasks around the president's office.

Back to the distraction, Sakano hadn't really been one at first. Unsatisfied with sitting idly on the office couch, he was darting back and forth, making idle conversation with his superior. Somehow they'd gotten on a topic about something (what the topic was, or how they reached it, Tohma had forgotten) that Sakano was apparently very interested in, and during the man's near-incessant narration, the blonde noticed something strange. Bright red flashed out from underneath the charcoal gray of Sakano's sleeve as he reached up to get something from a higher shelf.

At first, Tohma thought it was a bracelet of some kind. When he achieved a second glance, he managed to get a closer look. Red, with gold threads weaved into it and a golden clasp; most distinctly a woman's elastic hair tie. Mika had several like it, in varying colors. Had Sakano found a girlfriend?

He had to interrupt Sakano's verbal tirade to ask about it.

"Oh, this?" the nervous man lowered his head, hiding a quick blush of shame. "I-it's nothing, Shachou. You wouldn't be interested in that."

"On the contrary, I would." Tohma folded his hands on his desk. The statement was quiet, subtle, just enough to make the poor man give in immediately.

"Don't-t... don't take it the wrong way or anything..." The dark-haired man said almost in a whisper. "It's f-for... um..."

Prompting. "Yes?"

"Er..."

A reassuring, boyish smile from the older man, tilting his head innocently. "Go on, Sakano-san."

"A-a-anxiety." A sigh. "For... anxiety."

"Anxiety?" Tohma echoed, a curious tone in his voice.

Sakano nodded, fumbling with the red-and-white striped stirrer in his coffee cup, shifting his weight, feeling the questioning aqua orbs fixated on him and daring not to return the gaze. "Wh-when I think I might overreact... I pull on it. Kind of calming... r-really."

A chuckle. "Doesn't exactly match, does it?"

"It was the cheapest box..." he nearly whined in response.

The president's hands found the side of his desk, pulling himself up from his chair he assured, "Relax, Sakano-san. I'm not poking fun at you."

"I-I know," the younger lied. At the sound of a drawer being opened, his dark eyes finally ventured to look up, observing quietly as Tohma sorted through the top desk drawer.

"Here," the man said at length, removing and setting an object on the edge of his desk: a brown cube made of some smooth, shiny cloth. "You can have that. I rarely use it."

"Thank-k you, Shachou," Sakano stuttered, before even touching the object. Cautiously, he picked it up with the use of two fingers, looking over its surfaces, and giving a little jump in fear when he revealed that one of the surfaces had a face, if could even be called that: two beady black eyes and a wide, red mouth with triangle-shaped teeth. After the initial shock, he couldn't help think he'd seen it before somewhere.

"It's Domo-kun," the blonde answered before the question was even asked, obviously reading the confusion in the other's face. "I got it last time I visited the NHK building, for free. It's a little stress toy. You squeeze it to calm yourself."

With a soft smile, Sakano gave a light squeeze to the semblance of NHK's mascot. He'd have to wonder later if the scent of the president's cologne had rubbed off on the object at all, but for now, he was content just having it nearby.

He was brought back to his senses by the sound of the drawer shutting rather abruptly, and the ever-smiling president looking him right in the face. "Now please, why don't you go home and get some rest. Surely, you must be tired, even on such a short day."

"Um... a-alright," the producer barely managed to say, lowering his head to look at the floor again. "If y-you insist, Seguchi-san. See you t-tomorrow." And with a final bow to his employer, he turned on his heel and slowly exited the room.

"Remember what I said about getting some rest, Sakano-san!" came a call from behind him, and he only managed to get out a quick 'of course' before the door shut behind him.

On the way down the hall, Sakano remembered the little angry-looking cube in his hand. Cupping it in his palms, he looked left, then right, then behind him. Going back to his thought of the cologne possibly rubbing off, he raised it to his nose, taking a deep inhale; and he smiled.

It had.

* * *

**Author has nothing to say, so author will now express her love of cheese crackers of all varieties, except Ritz Chips.**


	3. Nescient Abuse

**Title: **Nescient Abuse  
**Author: **Capella Morningside  
**Theme: **#20 - Fix You  
**Pairing: **Tohma Seguchi/Sakano  
**Genre: **Angst/Drama  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Words: **1600? (I forget.)  
**Warnings: **Mentions of suicidal attempts, self-mutilation, slight sexual themes.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own it, don't make money from it.  
**Summary: **The worst kind of harm can be completely unintended in the right hands.

* * *

Years. Decades, millennia, eons, or maybe it had just been a few seconds. Like a woman craving for chocolate during hormonal chaos, but had none in her house, would run around searching, searching, under every nook and cranny to find at least that one small taste. Except this craving was right in front of his face on a daily basis, brushing perfect platinum locks out of his aquamarine eyes, smiling like he hadn't a care in the world, swaying his hips (ever-so-slightly, but just enough) as he walked. He did not have the luxury of some kind of wall or physical restraint to hold him off. It all boiled down to a very well developed functioning of self-control. 

At least once a week he'd wake in the middle of the night, sheets tangled around himself or thrown to the floor altogether, hot no matter the temperature outside, panting and disoriented. It may not have been fact, but it seemed to him that the dreams grew more intense every time, the sensations, sights, and sounds more real each time he dreamt it. And every time he woke, his craving was almost intense enough to make him break down into tears. He felt the craving every time he wasn't near Seguchi, and when he was, desperation kicked in, no better or worse than being away. No matter what he did, he felt himself at the mercy of his own passions.

Sakano was sure the president did not realize it when he did simple, subtle things that made the usually reserved man want to fall at his superior's feet and beg... beg for him to stop teasing, or for him to never stop... he was never sure which he'd actually say if one day the impulse became too much. (He guessed it would come out as some kind of confusing, contradictive gibberish.) It wasn't simply a sexual need either; he'd be perfectly content (albeit a little confused) if Tohma decided one day that Sakano made an excellent footrest and gave him that duty forthwith. It was purely attention; he even felt slightly more complete after a thorough chastising. Hell, even if the man made a sudden violent turn in his everyday behavior and came to the conclusion that his nervous employee was top candidate to be his new punching bag, so be it... anything to be noticed, anything to make Seguchi's thoughts turn to him once in a while. Any amount of physical, emotional, verbal... even sexual abuse Tohma could dish out would be nothing compared to the pain Sakano felt of rarely being noticed at all.

He had an inferiority complex, and he'd had it for a good long time. It seemed to come out in full force in the springtime, when love and happiness as a common theme was in his face no matter where he went, and many of N-G's employees simply couldn't wait to go home to answer nature's annual mating call. It was around this season that he sunk into more of a depressive phase than usual for him, but kept it as well-hidden as he could. Worst of all was when, out of nowhere, he'd be sitting by himself at home and suddenly be completely overcome with despair and worthlessness. It was these nights that his hand would hover over the telephone, fighting an impulse to call and spill his guts over the line to his boss; to serve, truly, no other purpose than the gratification of hearing Seguchi's cheerful voice.

Once or twice, things went too far.

After a particularly stressful day, Sakano had gone home dejectedly, almost steering his bicycle into cars a few times on the way out of internal distraction. That day, it seemed, he'd been unusually opinionated, and also on that day, no one seemed to care to listen. The members of Bad Luck and their manager wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise, and no amount of aggression or the opposite seemed to make them any more aware of his presence. The president even had repeatedly told him to leave the office for varying reasons, even when he himself had called Sakano up there. It only took an hour or so of being home by himself and it hit him like a wall. The frustration, helplessness, anger and rejection coupled with the seasonal depression came together, and before he was in control of what he was doing, the producer found himself kneeling on his floor, kitchen knife in hand, and a couple of horizontal slices on his left wrist.

It was late, and he didn't want to be home anymore. Not here, not by himself. Doctoring himself up with some first aid supplies, Sakano first made sure that the bleeding had almost completely ceased before changing his shirt in favor of a clean one and setting out.

It was confusing, even to him who had done this to himself. For years, he'd coped with depressive moods now and then, but he never thought himself capable of actually committing the crime of self-harm. It was completely against all Buddhist philosophy. This was more than self-harm, he thought, I could have killed myself. It was selfish. Only insane people did that, and he wasn't insane...

Or was he?

No, mustn't think like that. Think positive. Positive.

Sakano stopped in his tracks after the street crossing, looked up at the result of his wanderings, and sighed. 'Pathetic' was the only word that came to mind. All that, his mind said, and you somehow end up back here: N-G Productions.

* * *

The building was empty. He hadn't any other expectation, considering that it was an hour to midnight. The security code got him in, and an entrusted key would have gotten him into Tohma Seguchi's office had it not been left carelessly unlocked anyway.

The moon wasn't full, but it was either almost there or had just been that way a few nights ago, Sakano couldn't tell which. Whichever it was, it was shining with full force through the gargantuan windows in the back of the office, and he stood before the glass, watching the city below. It was a weeknight, but the streets still buzzed with life; Sakano had seen it on his way to the building. Bright, artificial lights made filled the lower parts of the city, glowing from every direction and giving everything a multicolored gleam, but here, so high above all that, the only light was pure moonlight.

The producer pulled up his sleeve, turning his wrist upward and inspecting the self-inflicted marks. The bandages had come off when the bleeding stopped for irritation reasons, and now the two lines were quite visible, dark and scabbing over slowly. They looked lurid and like something out of a horror film in the beautiful light.

A horrified gasp broke his concentration, but Sakano froze when he peeked over his shoulder to catch a shocked-looking Tohma standing in the doorway, staring back at him in disbelief. The president's turquoise eyes were wide with emotion, and the younger man immediately jerked his shirt sleeve back down to his wrist. Trying to make idle conversation, "Sh-shachou... why-y are you... er... ano... h-here so late?"

The blonde made a single step forward, still somewhat taken aback by the previous display however. "Sakano-san..." he spoke softly, concern in every syllable.

"You-u should be home r-r-resting. We've all had a-a bad day, I think..." Sakano's words trailed off, and he faked a smile.

No longer hesitating, Seguchi rushed forward, immediately taking the unwilling producer's arm in hand and forcibly pulling the sleeve back up. He glanced up, seeing the guilt in his employee's eyes, and Sakano dodged his gaze, even as the blonde let him go. "I don't understand, Sakano-san. What's wrong? What could be so terrible?"

Holding his arm protectively against his chest, the dark-haired man backed away like a fawning animal, shaking his head. "N-n-nothing. It's rea-lly... nothing."

"Did someone else do that to you?" Tohma pressed, insistence in his voice.

Sakano cringed further, only shaking his head as a response.

Closing the distance between them, the blonde's tone grew more demanding, taking the timid man by the shoulders. "Then why?" He gave Sakano a bit of a shake when he got no answer. "Why!" he nearly screamed, the usually stoic man caught up in pure emotion. "What is it? And... and, why couldn't you tell anyone?" Nothing. "Answer me, Sakano-san!"

"I..." came the addressed man's near-whisper. "I d-don't know-w-w..."

Frustrated, the president let him go, bringing a hand to his forehead in an attempt to compose himself. The apologies were on the table immediately; "I'm sorry. I shouldn't yell at you like that..."

Sakano took a wild guess. "He u-used to do-o it too, d-d-didn't he? If so-o, I understand... sha-achou."

The blonde turned his head, his hair and the hand on his forehead hiding his face well enough that the other couldn't tell if he was angry or simply upset at the touchy reference. When he finally turned back to Sakano, letting his hands drop, his face was once again void of the strong emotions, and he guessed the president simply needed a moment to bottle it all up.

"How long?"

The producer sighed. "Th-this was... the first time. I don't know w-what came over me-e..."

A long, awkward silence. "Is... there anything I can do, Sakano-san?"

A thousand lines entered his head, but Sakano selected the one that was unlike any of the others. "No-o... but thanks-s, for your concern, Seguchi-san."

The quiet reigned again, and at length, Sakano looked up to see the blonde man's eyes fixated on him, a strange, new, but completely unreadable look to them. With an assuring smile, he stepped forward, gently taking the producer's arm again, but rather than looking at the marks again, he pulled the sleeve back to its normal state and urged it back to a relaxed position at his side. With one more step he then made the distance between them nonexistent, resting his head on Sakano's shoulder and wrapping his arms around the other's back, pulling him into a strong, yet warm embrace.

The nervous man's breath hitched for a moment, but after several seconds, he calmed, carefully returning the embrace, no longer holding back the tears that had been waiting to come out the whole conversation. Not deterred at all, Tohma simply held him this way, allowing the other to cry himself into a headache on his shoulder.

When the sobs began to die off, the president softly requested, "Promise me you will never do that to yourself again, please, Sakano-san."

A gasping inhale, and a soft, "I-I promise."

"You're such a thoughtful person," Tohma continued. "You've completely dedicated your life to your job: helping others achieve their dreams, with absolutely no regard to your own. You constantly go beyond even that... trying to do everything you can in order to make sure everyone around you is happy. It's... beautiful, really."

Sakano almost started crying again.

"I don't tell you often enough how much I appreciate your dedication, Sakano-san. But please, try to save some energy for making yourself as happy as you make everyone else, okay?" Tohma pulled back slightly, raising his hand from the man's back to just behind his head, and lifting himself up on his toes, planting a warm kiss on the other's forehead.

The easily shocked producer froze again, but as Tohma slowly worked his way out of the embrace (almost having to pry Sakano from him), he snapped back to reality, replying with, "O-of course... thank you, sh-shachou..."

"Come on," Seguchi smiled. "I'll drive you home."

"A-as you wish."

* * *

**Author's Note:** According to the folks in the LJ community, I seem to have brought back some painful memories with this whatnot... so if I did it to anyone else, you can have a free, complimentary Capella Morningside punching bag. However, our shipping department is so busy watching The Full Monty that delivery will take 8-9 years. Thank you and goodnight. 


	4. Gotcha

**Title:** Gotcha  
**Author:** Capella Morningside  
**Theme:** #9 - Kisu!  
**Pairing:** Tohma Seguchi/Sakano  
**Genre:** Romance  
**Rating:** PG  
**Words:** 740  
**Warnings:** None.  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own it, don't make money from it.  
**Summary:** The best things can happen when we don't see it coming.

* * *

It wasn't an out-of-the-ordinary kind of day. Everyone would have said the same. The entire day had been predictable, stable-- until just before lunch. But it was Sakano's own fault for not looking deeper into the eyes of Tohma Seguchi and seeing the unusual thoughts going through that mind.

The producer made his daily trip up to Seguchi's office just after the group had decided to break for lunchtime, just in time to catch his boss getting ready to leave for somewhere. Timidly, almost as if he were afraid of being stuck for asking, Sakano brought up an agreement they had made the previous week to do lunch together on that very day; an agreement that Tohma had completely forgotten about. Not that he was entirely to blame, as of late the blonde acted and looked like a man deprived of any rest, but would listen to no one that told him to at least take a day off. After the profuse apologies, the two decided on another time, namely in two days, and this time Seguchi took extra care not to forget, stalling just long enough in his office in order to write the date on his calendar.

Even so, Sakano couldn't help but feel guilty for causing someone already under so much stress even more grief, even if it was their own fault. It didn't help to watch the keyboardist smile through the entire ordeal. But when he attempted to say he was sorry in turn, Tohma only replied with: "Come now, Sakano-san. There have been enough apologies for one day."

The truth was, the blonde was growing tired of people worrying about him. It was probably just the onset of crankiness, but the next person that suggested a day off would probably not be safe until he did, in fact, get some rest. He was exhausted as of late, he already knew it and other people pointing it out to him constantly didn't do the situation any good at all. But when Tohma reasoned with himself, he couldn't bring himself to get angry with Sakano in the least. The man was only concerned about his well-being, fretfully going about his worry routine that was set into motion every time the president was overdoing his duties. He was writing their postponed lunch arrangement on his calendar when such an idea came to him that it was a wonder a Cheshire Cat smile didn't appear on his face.

Adjusting the collar of his lengthy coat, the blonde said, sweetly, "If I promise to take a half-day this Friday, will you be more at ease, Sakano-san?"

"I-it isn't like that," came immediate defense, and Tohma knew instantly he'd phrased his question wrong. "Don't do-o it because I or someone else asked y-you to, please do it for your own good-d, Shachou..."

"I meant that I'm admitting you were right, and saying I don't want you to worry so much about me." A slight chuckle of amusement. "Don't get yourself so worked up, or you won't be able to eat well."

The reply was only a dragged-out sigh, as the meek Sakano diverted his gaze to the floor. It wasn't long before he became aware of a presence close to him, and a gloved hand found his shoulder.

"I have to go. Sakuma-san will be waiting for me at the restaurant."

"O-of course."

"And, one more thing..."

He wasn't given time to respond or really think. The producer raised his head, brows raised in curiosity, and as he started to ask a question he found himself rendered mute, lips caught by a soft, but quietly passionate kiss. Barely able to believe what was happening to him, Sakano froze, even a couple seconds after the affection ended only managing to get out a slight whimper.

Looking not unlike the cat who ate the canary, Tohma let his employee go, gave a satisfied grin, and made his exit, stage left. "I'll see you after lunch, Sakano-san. Please eat something besides those vending machine noodles today."

"Y-yes..." stuttered the still-shaken being. Now left alone in the office, his muscles finally relaxed, still trying to make himself believe that what had just taken place was not in his imagination. A quick motion, drawing his tongue over his lips, and it was a sample of the taste remaining there that confirmed reality.

In a rush of flying thoughts, everything went dark, and Sakano hit the floor.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Fun stuff, ne? I just don't thinkSakano could have handled that any better than he did, hee hee. 


	5. Duct Tape

**Title**: Duct Tape  
**Author**: Capella Morningside  
**Theme**: #2 - Nerdy  
**Pairing**: Tohma Seguchi/Sakano  
**Genre**: Romance/Humor  
**Rating**: PG  
**Words**: 1942  
**Warnings**: None.  
**Disclaimer**: Don't own it, don't make money from it.  
**Summary**: Duct tape is the answer to all problems... or it can create all-new ones.

When Sakano finally awoke on the office floor, the lunch break was already halfway over, or so he guessed with a squinting look at his watch. Rubbing at his forehead to try to cure his pounding headache, the producer put his other hand underneath him, and felt something that wasn't carpet... something hard, strangely shaped; something that made a disconcerting 'crunch' as soon as there was enough weight on it.

_Oh please, Buddha... please don't let that be..._

"My glasses..." Sakano groaned, ending with a whine. Pulling himself into a sitting position, he lifted the damaged spectacles gently by one of the sides. The thick lenses were intact, but the bridge was fractured and barely hanging in place. It swung back and forth for a moment or two before, to his horror, coming apart completely.

"Oh no."

Gathering the two broken pieces delicately in his palms, the man finally stood up, trying his best to determine where he was. Even through the terrible blur, he could make out the image of those giant windows that he would know anywhere. Seguchi's office. If he had not been overly concerned about the state of his glasses, he would have remembered immediately what had caused him to be on the ground in the first place. As it was, the event only crossed his mind once, and he dismissed it as a delusional dream he'd had while unconscious.

One hand cradling his spectacles, the other out before him to keep him from colliding with anything, the nearly blind producer set out for help.

* * *

The trip down to the break room most people frequented was unforgiving, and Sakano was half-sure he'd stubbed his toe so often it had broken by now. His hands ached from the many accidental collisions with doorknobs during the attempts to locate them, and the constant eye strain was giving him a headache, and when he pushed open the break room doors, he saw the person he least expected to see; well, at least he thought he did. 

Upon entry, he took in the image in front of him as best as he could. Slender figure bent over a table, with long, auburn hair flowing down the person's back. In a subconscious action, they reached up, gently flipping their hair back in an unmistakably feminine action.

"Um... e-excuse me, Mrs. Seguchi. I'm sorry-y to bother, but, you wouldn't h-happen to have any... er..."

Sakano froze. The figure had spun around, looking in several directions before fixing on him, remaining silent, however.

"Ah... y-you... wouldn't have any, tape or anything, would you? Y-y-you see, my glasses..."

The nervous man thought his heart would stop as he spotted the long-haired figure suddenly breaking into a run, coming at him all-too-quickly for his mind to process. Panicking, he used his free hand to cover his head as one would do to avoid a dog attack, closed his eyes, braced and whined out, "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean w-whatever I did and I d-didn't mean to spoil your marriage! You mean more to him than I ever could, take it from me, please!"

But when no impact of a hand or high-heeled shoe came, Sakano timidly opened one eye just to check, and nearly fainted for the second time that day with relief to find that the other person was simply standing over him, and by the close range, the situation was not what he took it for.

"I won't ask what that was all about," came the distinctly masculine voice. "Because I don't think I want to know."

"Hiro-kun." Sakano gave a deep, relieved exhale. "Thank Buddha."

The guitarist smirked. "You thought I was a woman?"

"I... well... er... ano..." He cut himself off, instead raising the broken glasses into Hiro's line of sight as a better explanation than he could verbally attempt.

"I see." The guitarist tenderly removed the glasses from Sakano's hands, inspecting the frames. "Well, your lenses aren't cracked. That's good. I don't know much about glasses, but I'm betting a little tape will hold you over for the day."

Blindly, the producer tried to reach for his glasses, coming up short however. "Do you have any?"

Hiro took Sakano's hand in his own, gently guiding the man back to his spectacles. "No. But... last person I remember having any tape was K-san. You could ask him."

A groan. "K-san."

"Don't worry! I'm sure he won't guide you into walls or down staircases for his own amusement."

Cradling his glasses with one hand, Sakano hid his face with the other. "You're no help!"

* * *

"Just this way. Oh, careful of that car, boss!" 

Smack.

"Aah! K-san! Th-that's not funny!"

"And... we're here!"

Unable to slow down the momentum he'd gained from being dragged by the wrist at such a high speed, Sakano ran right into the American at full force, sending him sprawling to the floor but somehow leaving K unscathed.

"Watch where you're going, will you, Sakano-san?" he nearly muttered, sticking a key into the trunk lock of the automobile.

Irately, the producer once again gathered the pieces of his glasses together, snarling out a: "It's not exactly my fault!"

His temper was not met with a reply. The blonde was too busy pulling things out of the trunk one by one, naming them off as he went.

"Shovel..." and it was set aside. "Rope... crowbar..."

Sakano whimpered, fidgeting nervously with his hands. The questions of course filled his mind as to the contents of K's little collection, but he thought it best not to ask-- lest he find out.

"Machete... hey, there's that AK-47 I was looking for all last week... oh, here it is. Duct tape. Hand 'em over, Sakano."

Bidding a farewell to his glasses and his dignity, Sakano complied, placing the two pieces in K's waiting hand. A ripping sound was heard as the tape came free of its roll, and the American made fast work, tearing a narrow strip and covering the broken bridge of the frames, sealing them together in a manner that could only be described as absurd. After a short minute, the 'repaired' glasses were resting on the producer's face again. The regained eyesight was a definite improvement, but the tape job was bulky, and caused the spectacles to sit at an awkward angle no matter how hard Sakano tried to remedy it.

K grinned. "There! Good as new."

"Not quite... but I suppose..."

"You look like more of a nerd than usual." he said in the middle of re-adjusting the array of dangerous articles in his trunk, before closing it.

The only reply was a whine.

"Lunch is almost over. Let's get inside."

Almost over? Sakano glanced at his watch, amazed at how quickly the time had passed while he'd stumbled blindly through the hallways of N-G. He hadn't even eaten anything. Great, had to remember that... now he was hungry. Almost as if on cue, his stomach gave a low growl. Oh well. Must go on, must work, he told himself. Somehow, he'd get through the rest of the day.

Somehow.

"And, before we go back in the studio, can you run this up to Seguchi?" K stopped just before the door, producing from his pocket a badly-folded piece of paper. "Whoever sent it had the wrong fax number, I think it was supposed to go to him, but it went to the machine down the hall."

Sakano held the paper between two fingers, as if it were contaminated. "How-w long ago was this?"

"Relax, relax. Just this morning. But I guess I forgot about it."

"Fine." But all was not fine, Sakano repeated to himself as he re-entered the building and boarded the elevator. He was hungry, and on top of that he looked utterly ridiculous. He did his best to straighten his clothes and brush off the dust after the multiple car and wall collisions that K had either intentionally or unintentionally sent him into on his way to the tape, ended up completely re-tying his tie, and made a vain attempt to straighten out the mangled fax... anything that might not make the chunk of duct tape on his glasses so obvious. All in one wonderfully neurotic elevator ride.

All this, to be greeted with not a 'Hello' or a 'Did you have a good lunch?' but with a very blunt, "Sakano-san, what happened to your glasses?"

"I-I... ano... I fainted, in here, shachou... and accidentally broke them w-when I woke up." Attempting to get the subject off of his appearance, he thrust the fax out toward the president. "This came for y-you."

"Thank you, Sakano-san." Tohma took it delicately, looking over its contents but still speaking with his employee. "I'm sorry to hear you fainted. My apologies."

"It... i-it isn't your fault, Seguchi-san..."

"On the contrary, it is." A curious glance up from the fax. "You do not remember?"

"I'm a-afraid I..." Oh. Wait. He did remember. Suddenly more frightened than usual around the powerful Seguchi, he took a single step back, eyes fixated on the floor and a deep red flush taking over his face. The president only tilted his head in response.

"Did I surprise you that much, Sakano-san? I apologize again." The blonde stood, moving the letter to a metallic tray on the left corner of his desk. "If it was something you didn't want, simply tell me not to do it again."

Silence.

"Sakano-san?"

"P-please... don't. Don't do it again, sh-shachou."

Tohma drew his lips together tightly, for once unable to decipher what Sakano was thinking. The man was usually such an open book, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and the president hoped that he wasn't the cause of this uncharacteristic behavior. "May I ask why?"

The producer's voice was nearly at a whisper. "Y-you wouldn't want... me. I couldn't m-make you happy. There are others... that can-n, but I-I'm not one of them, shachou."

"And who are you to tell me what I do and don't want?"

Confused, Sakano turned his gaze toward the president once again, surprised to find the man's expression far more readable than usual; a smile, as always, but there was a certain kindness, a fondness to it, that the dark-haired man had never seen directed toward him before.

"You don't know what I want. That, or you know... but you're hesitant to believe it. Am I correct? You simply don't think you're good enough. Would I have done what I did if I thought you were below me? Think about it."

Another minute or so of silence. "I... I think I understand."

"And your previous decision?" Tohma inquired, mischief hanging on each word.

"Ano... I... guess you can-n... I mean, when you want to, if... if you want to..."

Tohma gave one of his signature quiet laughs. "I'm merely poking fun. Calm down, Sakano-san." With long, balanced, almost feminine strides, the president maneuvered around his desk to stand within a meter of the other man. "You had better get back to the studio."

A nod. "Of course." Sakano started to leave, but paused mid-step to cheerfully say, "Next week..."

He cut himself off as Seguchi closed the distance between them. There was a momentary pause, in which Sakano was sure he could hear the little plant on the far shelf growing, before the president locked lips with him for the second time that day.

"Consider it a date," Tohma said when the affection had finally broken. "But..." he poked the duct tape between Sakano's eyes. "Get that fixed, so you don't look so nerdy at a fancy restaurant, hm?"

Date? Fancy restaurant? ...nerdy?

Whimpering, Sakano nodded. "Y-yes, shachou."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Updated due to popular demand, and because the site finally decided to accept my document. Enjoy! 


	6. A Different Glow

**Title**: A Different Glow  
**Author**: Capella Morningside  
**Theme**: #22 - Candlelight  
**Pairing**: Tohma Seguchi/Sakano  
**Genre**: Romance  
**Rating**: PG  
**Words**: 190  
**Warnings**: More sap than a forest of pine trees.  
**Disclaimer**: Don't own it, don't make money from it.  
**Summary**: Everything is better in candlelight.

* * *

It was really an amazing thing, Tohma thought, that a person you think you know so well can look so unfamiliar in a different glow. 

Of course, he was sure he would normally be making poor Sakano feel awkward by just sitting there and watching him like this. But the usually antsy man wasn't aware if it, most likely... he was lost in some distant thought, zoned out with his eyes fixated on the single candle in the middle of their table, the greatest source of light nearby.

Then the lightning struck again, a flash of brightness from the terrible storm outside, sending sharply-defined shadows askew across Sakano's face for an instant; then the soft orange glow reigned over. The coloring was a perfect compliment to his complexion, it added a beauty to him that Tohma had never before seen, softening his features and making him look so much more approachable, so much sexier than harsh white lights could ever do for him.

In a moment, their eyes locked, and wordlessly, fingers intertwined-- and Tohma made a mental note to catch Sakano in candlelight again as soon as possible.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry it was so short. But this is what I wanted to do with this theme, and I can't expand on it too much. Next one will be longer. 


	7. I Wish

**Title: **I Wish  
**Author: **Capella Morningside  
**Theme: **#43 - Star  
**Pairing: **Tohma Seguchi/Sakano  
**Genre: **Romance  
**Rating: **PG  
**Words: **850+  
**Warnings: **None.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own it, don't make money from it.  
**Summary: **"Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight, I wish..."

* * *

"_What would you prefer? I prefer red myself, or maybe some rich variety from Spain or Hungary, they always have just enough bite. Or would you favor something milder, Sakano-san?"_

_Tohma's face was hidden behind the large wine listing, otherwise he would have seen the dumbfounded look on his companion's face. "I, ano, sh-shachou..."_

_"Please." A smiling face appeared over the lowering sheet of paper. "When it's just the two of us, you needn't address me like we are at work."_

_"S...seguchi-san?" Sakano tried._

_"You can do better than that."_

_Adjusting his glasses in timid habit, the younger man bit his lip, unnerved by the mere prospect of what he was about to say. Swallowing deeply, cringing as if about to be struck, he did what he once considered impossible. "Tohma."_

_"Much better." A satisfied look from the addressed. "And what were you going to say before?"_

_"I-I... I forgot," came the whimper in response._

The date that afternoon had been eventful in more ways than one. Toward the end of their lunch they agreed to meet up for dinner as well, and following that, there had been a long, aimless drive around the city. This had taken them to a secluded hilltop parking lot like a couple of high school kids, but nothing of that usual nature really had taken place... just a longer, deeper talk than the two of them ever remembered sharing. They eventually parted in front of Sakano's apartment building, albeit a little reluctantly, with a rather unexpected and prolonged kiss that left the producer dizzy.

Having eaten so much rich food all day, Sakano was no longer having his usual evening bout with munchies, and with so much on his mind from the still-unbelievable events of the day, he hadn't been able to sleep either, despite the late hour.

A walk in the park was more than perfect for the evening; it was bright from an almost full moon and unusually warm. The ground was still wet from the rain that afternoon, but every cloud had fled since and the sky was perfectly clear.

_Sakano loved how perfect Seguchi's touch felt against his skin, how softly those delicately cared-for hands ran through his hair while his head rested against the musician's shoulder. The world didn't exist then, none of the man's usual worries and cares crossing his mind, the silence between then not an awkward one but a conversation in itself, not a discussion told in words but in senses and emotions._

_It was something in the way the president held him that struck Sakano with concern when he was finally able to place his finger on it-- Tohma was afraid. Afraid of what, the other didn't know, but he did the best he could to calm that fear in their silent dialogue, nervously reaching out to take his companion's hand into his own, holding and caressing it as if it were the most valuable treasure he'd ever handled... and to him, it was. This seemed to soothe the blonde, but not completely._

Sitting on a moderately damp bench, Sakano stared at the empty sky, all the stars blocked out from the city lights except for the brightest ones. How symbolic, he thought... cities are such bright places, only those that shine the brightest will make a name for themselves, be seen over the blinding lights that surround everything and penetrate everywhere.

Looking at the very first star he saw, folding his hands together, the producer did his best to remember a little English rhyme he'd heard from a child.

"Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight... I wish..."

Stuck on his words, Sakano paused, then took a deep breath and continued.

"I wish that Seguchi... er, Tohma, has a long and happy life. Whether he chooses to live that life with me, or with anyone else. That no matter who he chooses to be with, he is loved, and loves them in return."

It was the same as the prayer he said every morning when he woke up, and the same thing he wished every time Tohma even crossed his mind. And even though he wasn't the brightest star in the city, and he knew it... a little insignificant one, that couldn't outshine the glaring lights of the city itself... he gave his light to the one he loved most so that they could become even brighter.

_"I need to thank you, Sakano."_

_He had been just on the verge of sleep, lulling away into a dream to the comforting sensation of the president's fingers in his hair. "Hm? What for?"_

_A sigh. "You see me as a human being."_

_"But... that's what you are, T...Tohma."_

_"Too many people don't think that. To them, I'm only an image... almost a god in their eyes. So... thank you."_

_"Thank you, as well," Sakano returned._

_No more needed to be said; Tohma understood, and leaning down, he planted a reassuring kiss on the other's forehead._

* * *

**Author's Note: **Why was this one so hard to do? 


	8. Tango

**Title:** Tango  
**Author:** Capella Morningside  
**Theme:** #1 - Ignorance  
**Pairing:** Tohma Seguchi/Sakano  
**Genre:** Drama, Angst  
**Rating:** PG  
**Words:** 209  
**Warnings:** None.  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own it, don't make money from it.  
**Summary:** No one feels like dancing anymore.  
**Apologies:** Sorry it's been so amazingly long. I was immersed in working on my first fantasy novel, getting ready and the plot done and stuff, additionally I was moving and getting settled into a new house. This is just a short piece to declare my return, more, longer stuff will be done later.

* * *

Step lightly, step carefully, with grace in your footing. Eyes on your feet at all times when you're just learning, but once it's been going on for long enough you're almost able to sense where to place your feet to avoid the weaving tendrils of darkness, the wandering roots of unwanted topics of discussion... an intricate dance, tread lightly to circumvent those uncomfortable moments, seem aloof but of course not too aloof but don't make your partner tiptoe as well.

This aura of darkness... it will pass, and all will return to normalcy. Perhaps the previous last dance we shared was too intense, occurring too fast and we are faced with the problem of what to say to one another after the events, irreversible, have already transpired. The partnership currently on ice, no one feels like dancing with one another anymore, choosing instead to practice our steps in a frightened phase to dodge one another and the wordless inquiries. He has created a shell once more of being completely unapproachable, lacking the warm sincerity, the near-exposure of the child-self seeking refuge in the arms of another if only for a moment.

Another day, and our eyes avoid that first glance again... another day of this intricate tango of forced ignorance.


	9. A Silent Assumption

**Title**: A Silent Assumption  
**Author**: Capella Morningside  
**Theme** #21 – Fling  
**Pairing**: Tohma Seguchi/Sakano  
**Genre**: Drama/Angst  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Words**: 1200+  
**Warnings**: Mentions of sexual behavior.  
**Disclaimer**: Don't own it, don't make money from it.  
**Summary**: Who knew such complexities and heartbreak could stem from mere silence?

* * *

Everyone has these kinds of days, he thought. The sort where it seems everyone has some secret grudge against you, and you even become suspicious of the nicest of them because your mind is too busy prying into them for deeply hidden maliciousness. But it wasn't true, and he knew it. Guilt complexes were something he'd always struggled with and his conscience reminded him every chance it got that he'd screwed up, possibly very badly, and he couldn't help but wonder who else was aware of the situation.

Thankfully, even those that had the keenest senses for trouble had seemed all too busy to notice the quiet drama that he had carefully swept under the rug. Things had started to return to a normal pace, and the president had let his guard down. But it was too soon.

One night, his scandal would be called on the carpet... by a stuffed pink rabbit.

It was the usual routine. The blonde keyboardist had stayed in late, rejecting the idea of returning home just yet, staring at the surface of his desk and finding solace in the growing darkness and the race of his own thoughts. A few small sounds, the door opened beyond his notice, and when he looked up, two black, beady eyes were gazing at him from across the desk, big pink ears resting on the furniture.

Tohma smiled. Surely this distraction would lift his spirits. "Ah, Kumagoro. What are you doing up here?"

"Nyah!" came the gratingly irritating response. "Kumagoro doesn't want to talk to Tohma. He only came to look at the pretty sunset in the big window."

A perplexed look overcame the deceptively soft features, and Seguchi leaned forward on his elbows to get closer to the indignant bunny. "What's the matter? Have I done something wrong?"

Kumagoro gave a full-bodied negative gesture. "Kumagoro doesn't talk to meanies that make people sad."

"And what did I do that made Kumagoro sad?" He was still highly confused, but decided to still play along, if it at least made for a diversion.

"Tohma knows what he did. He made Kumagoro's friend cry."

Defeated, the man sat back in his chair, daintily removing his solid black hat and letting it come to a rest in his lap, pondering the riddle presented to him by the angered Ryuichi. Friend... Shindou was a possible, safe response to this puzzle. He and the bubblegum-headed ball of energy had taken up the ropes for their power-based tug-of-war quite frequently over the last couple of weeks or so, and this, as always, involved the entire spectrum of emotions on Shindou's part. But perhaps simply asking would be the key to the whole question.

"Who was crying, Kumagoro?"

A perturbed response. "Mean, mean Tohma knows what he did!"

The accused hung his head in annoyance, his patience running thinner than it truly ever had with Ryuichi. "Kumagoro..."

Little cloth paws went to cover the huge ears. "Kumagoro doesn't like you right now no da." The hidden puppeteer began to sing, trying to mask out anything the keyboardist would say. "_Tooku de me o hikarasete mezameru monotachi matte iru..._"

Tohma pinched the bridge of his nose. Considering how upset his bandmate had been made, he let himself assume the worst: somehow, Ryuichi had found out about something he very well shouldn't have, and was taking it upon himself to patch the situation. As for how he knew, the blonde hadn't a clue. Sakuma had an enigmatic way of knowing exactly what was bothering those he cared about and waiting around until an opportune time presented itself to try and solve it. Needless to say, Seguchi was pretty certain of the problem now. Who knew such complexities and heartbreak could stem from mere silence?

_The N-G president watched the ceiling fan spin high above him, giving him a soft breeze to cool off in as well as something to just stare at while he tried to make sense of what has just happened. His hand moved in a repetitive motion, dragging through the tangled, damp hair of Sakano who lay beside him, arms tightly around his employer's body. Both were almost in a state of shock; everything had happened so quickly, and once the mild kisses had become a gateway for much more neither of them had possessed any power to stop it. Yet, that was not to say that either had a single regret, not even the overly cautious, hesitant Sakano who up until about a half hour prior, had been a virgin. _

The silence in the producer's apartment broke. A quivering statement, but the words spoken were as sharp and strong as a fine blade. "I... I-I... I love you."

A resulting cringe told Seguchi how frightened his companion was of his own words, but it was nothing in comparison... his own heart seemed to fall into his stomach. His hand ceased its movements, and he parted his lips as if to speak, but the endeavor was only met with failure. Sakano watched this carefully, the patient man staring apprehensively into aquamarine eyes for any kind of response. One minute ticked by, then two... and eventually the younger man turned away dejectedly, rolling over and breaking all physical contact with the other. The afterglow they had shared all at once vanished, all warmth left in the room fading as well to leave them in frigid silence.

Since then, things had taken a considerable turn in the still relatively new relationship. The steadily growing romance and affection suddenly had turned sour when things began to happen too quickly, when they began taking steps they weren't prepared to take yet. The silence that had killed the tender moments after their passionate night had sealed the deal, so to speak... outside of professionally, the two hadn't spoken or seen each other since.

Kumagoro was still singing and covering his ears, but Tohma leaned forward and closer, ready to bargain. "Alright, Kumagoro. I'll make a deal."

The rabbit's paws relaxed and the song stopped, the two black beads of the animal's eyes nearly looking expectant.

"I promise I'll say I'm sorry, and make it all better... if you promise to tell me who told you about it."

Skepticism from the other. "Tohma promises?"

"Of course." He put on his signature smile.

"Um..." came a long-drawn out response, this single syllable lasting for at least half a minute before, with a little nod, Kumagoro complied. "Okay. K-san told me."

_Oh great._

"K-san is so-o-o nice, no da! He was trying to make Sakano-san feel all better, and Kumagoro tried to help, too. But they went to dinner, and K-san said Kumagoro should talk to Tohma about being nice."

"Well," Seguchi mused. "thank you, Kumagoro. I'll hold up my end of the bargain and say I'm sorry, okay?"

Ryuichi's free hand finally appeared, clutching the side of the desk, and the hyperactive singer peeked over the edge much like his stuffed companion had at the beginning of their conversation. "They went to the La Belle Epoque, if you want to catch up."

"La Belle Epoque?" Tohma arched a brow at the name of the high-end restaurant.

"I know!" the singer said with excitement in his voice. "That place is so yummy no da. Isn't that nice of him?"

_Nice indeed_, the president thought to himself. "I will see you tomorrow, Sakuma-san. I have things to attend to before I go home."

* * *

A few notes for my audience: thank you greatly for the encouragement, and I apologize for being lazy and not putting my updates here! 


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